So - all this talk of angels and depression-bit of a downer really?

How about love-not the mushy kind though I have occasionally found that quite pleasant. No, I mean the other kind. The kind of love that is given without thought of reward, makes no judgements and is not withheld when the going gets rough.

In our lives if we are lucky we get that love from our parents and those closest to us, friends and family and sometimes lovers. But, when they leave us, as they must, who do we turn to find that love? Perhaps more importantly, have we learned to give to others ourselves.

I was a teacher (yes, that's why the quotations) and I remember my first tutor group-facing their faces, knowing for the next year I was 'mum' at school. I remember telling them that I would love them even if they did something bad. I wouldn't condone and I would give them hell if they let me down, but the love was unconditional and forever. Of those kids nearly fifteen years ago over half are my friends on Facebook.

And the love survives on both sides.

I was told that my teaching was "crap," I cared too much for the individual and not enough for the many. Mother Theresa when asked how she could possibly help the starving and dying in Calcutta said, "One at a time." The DFE may not accept this but they are wrong. For every one child I loved many more wanted to feel that and would seek it out. And I'm not talking some kinky child abusing creepy thing-I'm talking about care, the knowing that even it something goes horribly wrong someone, somewhere loves you.

Was this a rant? Possibly, but I think more of lament for the days of poetry and music and sitting under trees reading books in the sun and for being able to be not just the dust distributor at the chalkface but the miner of the bright sparks before me.

xxx