Out came the l'Occitaine lavender bath stuff, the La Source soap and body scrub and the grapefruit body butter from Body Shop. The candles were lit, Simon and Garfunkel in the CD player and the towel put on fluff in the dryer. I soaked, soaped and exfoliated and washed my hair with a ten minute hot oil treatment.
It was all rather like a movie set except - the bath is only four foot long so to get my top half under water I have to stick my legs straight up. The body scrub caused multiple abrasions that were NOT intended and one of the candles fell off the window sill and into the bath!
No matter I thought, the concept was working. I felt more like a goddess than ever before. The towel was a little hot - fluffing requires care and reading the instructions! I manged however and headed for the hairdryer and straightners. I wanted shiny, glossy, swooshy hair like in the adverts. What I got was firstly over dried frizz followed by burnt ends to straight lank bits. No matter I thought - tomorrow is another day and I can wash it again and dry it au natural...(The next day was -3)
Surely, I thought as I headed to bed smelling delightfully youngly of grapefruit, surely my beloved Decleor won't let me down. I cleansed and toned and then mixed up my usual HydraFloral with some super duper Essential Balm and massaged it well into the skin and neck. I finished off with l'Occitaine foot and hand cream and slid between the sheets to sleep, happily dreaming of the goddess to come.
When I woke up I had some difficulty in seeing - my eyes were finding it hard to open. I lurched to the mirror to see my 'goddess' face resembled nothing so much as an angry moon; round and covered in red blotches- I was allergic to the balm! I still smelt of grapefruit and believe that novelty wore off quickly and was covered in a rash from the body scrub. My hair - oh my poor hair looked Phyllis Diller gone mad. All I can say thank God I didn't do the whole make up thing as well.
Back to being an aging hippy for me and somebody please remind me of this the next time I mutter, high maintenance!!!!!!!!!!!
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