Three score and ten

This is number 70 of what started as an attempt to find the words to explain the loss and sadness of the last few years. I thought I would maybe write one or two - get bored - disenchanted - but this has been my Topsy - it just growed.

Have I learnt anything? Not sure - put some old ghosts to rest, had a bear hunt, found new friends and old ones. Never quite know what people like - I think I have written deathless prose and silence was my only response - I think I have been self indulgent and self pitying and you write to me... I have learned that there is an awful lot of goodness out there and we should all remember that in dark times.

I have found the anonymity of the blog liberating - none of my family read it - they all know the story they say: I would beg to differ - those of you who have been with me from the start know that it has been a bleak and frightening time trying to come to terms with an illness that is unseen and unspoken. To be able to say on this screen that I have self harmed, that I have tried to overdose had allowed me the space to deal with things that seem outside my control. Some of you know more about me than my sister or best friend.

I wasn't going to blog today but I saw that this would be number seventy and that seemed important to mark in some way so this is it. Thank you whoever and wherever you are. Please keep reading until we reach at least a century - namaste - love and light to all